OLIVE JUICE & ONLY CHAOS

a two part juxtaposing video ritual inspired by a parasitic experience

OLIVE JUICE (2023)

What you're watching is a distorted version
of a love video I made as a gift for my
(unknowingly at the time) abuser.

I remember coming up with the idea of Olive Juice when I was exploring the underground lava tubes in Arizona. Sound free, vision free. All emotion and thoughts. Truly alone.

I wish I would have stayed alone. 

I hope when you watch this first part you will remember an infatuation you once had, or do have. I hope you can remember the simple joy you felt when they entered your mind. The simple comfort you felt when you heard their voice. The feeling you got when they entered the room. The bubble in your brain when they locked eyes with you. The passion flowing through your body when you were intimate with them. The “infinite” love. Please remember that as you watch this, Thank you.  

This is part one of the juxtaposing visual project entitled “Olive Juice & Only Chaos”.

ONLY CHAOS (2023)

This video ritual is inspired by the parasitic experience.

Only Chaos is about being in love with the potential versus the reality. It's like stepping through dreams, literally, whether it’s from the best, most beautiful, wonderful dream that you didn’t even know existed on earth straight into your wildest, fiery burning nightmare.

Only Chaos is the struggle to return to oneself. It’s the experience of losing yourself and then swimming back while holding close the remnants you still possess.

This video ritual is like walking
in shoes with spikes inside them.
Every step hurts but every
step wears the spike down. 

I want you to remember a time of unexpected transition. A change that you couldn’t comprehend before it was too late. The moment you were poisoned with a sweet venom that tasted like sugar candy. The moment your friends told you that they’re worried about you. The moment you felt defensive. Remember the drug you kept coming back to, no matter how much it invalidated you. No matter how much it
dragged you down.

Most importantly, Only Chaos is about feminine energy becoming the only energy that heals me, the only energy that builds me up and enables a soft landing back into myself. 

I am so blessed to have the platform to speak on the subject of abusive relationships.
We should speak about it openly more often.

It’s okay if it happens to you. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. You are not ruined. You are now stronger than you have ever been. Smarter. Safer without them. Safer with yourself.  

This is part two of the juxtaposing visual project entitled “Olive Juice & Only Chaos”.

Olive Juice & Only Chaos premiered as a one-night-only live event at Fergie’s Pub in Philadelphia on February 19, 2023. With live music and dance woven between the video pieces, the show created a multi-sensory environment that mirrored the inner world of someone navigating an abusive relationship.

All proceeds from the event ($1,000) were donated to Lutheran Settlement House, a local nonprofit supporting survivors of domestic violence.

You, too, can donate.
Give to Lutheran Settlement House here.